billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
