You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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