I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
