Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
