At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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