It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
