I didn't shave. On purpose
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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