its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
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