I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
