Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
