he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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