Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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