I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
