My hair reeks of homosexuality.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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