I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
