Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
