I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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