ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize