i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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