That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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