I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
