If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Randomize
