I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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