i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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