Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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