Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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