i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
