Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
