"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Randomize
