saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My balls are so social today.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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