i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I party with great urgency now.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
