What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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