wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
