Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
