I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
this will be a night to untag.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
