But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize