Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
