hotel room ftw
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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