My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
