Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
