I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
