but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
