I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
