Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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