We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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