Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
