Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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