Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize