How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
