You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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