He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
