So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
