There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I had to cum in my sink.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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