I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
