508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
