So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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