She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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