I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
