so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
