We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
