And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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