I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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