whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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